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Finn's not one of those douchebags who would thrust his girlfriend for sex. He's not. Sure, he wants to make sex with her, he's a gallant but he's pretty sure Rach isn't ready, so trying to push her would be really fucking mean and just wreck everything. So he won't do it.
(He knows doing it before you're ready fucks with your head.)
So yeah, he's not going to force her or anything. But he's sort of getting blue balls here. It's not her fault; she's just so fucking hot he can't help it. That's a compliment, right? Right.
(Rachel doesn't feel like anyone else. She was ever meant to be too short, too flat-chested, too strong-jawed. Finn likes her for not look like others, and truly what does 'too strong-jawed' even mean?)
He wants her, but he deals with it. He's seventeen; him and his fist go way back. He's pretty sure she wants him back, which is amazing and like, heroin for his ego, but whatever. He gets that just, y'know, liking the thought of having sex with someone doesn't mean you'll just leap into bed with them. Unless you're Puck. Finn's pretty certain it would be a bad if either he or his girlfriend tried any sort of attitude like that.
(Her nails digging into his back just hurt, and it was more her way of saying 'hurry up and love me, asshole' than in exaltation or whatever. It wasn't anything like he imagined.)
She said she didn't sleep with Jesse, so he gets she's frightened of her first sentence or whatever. He sort of always knew she was lying anyway. Not that if she had he'd be all 'so closed up and fuck me, bitch' or even all 'you are sordid and defiled and I can no longer look at you!' about it. So what if she fucked Jesse? She was into him. Finn didn't get any call on her. And anyway, sleeping with one dude can be wholly unlike sleeping with another dude, so it'd still have sense to be a bit hesitant about doing it with the other dude. It doesn't change things, right?
(She's never really talked about it, but he's pretty sure she was in bed with Jesse. He's pretty sure she wouldn't have considered sleeping with him otherwise.)
Anyway, it's likely a serious thing she didn't, just because St. Jackass turned out to be, y'know, evil and that would just fuck with her brain. Who wants to suffer it to person who doesn't give a damn about you?
("Don't get all clingy on me," Santana said, biting into her burger. "Just because we're here after fucking doesn't mean we're dating or anything. I'm just hungry.")
Yeah, she told him she lied and he's really got to take the favor sometime soon. If anything, karma probably won't let him get laid until he does (fuck, that sounds bad). But, you know, it's hard. He doesn't need to harm her. He knows how she gets around the popular girls who used to nibble on her. Who even do, really.
("Okay, seriously? We do all that and you're even thinking about that bitch?" Santana smirked at him. "You actually are a pussy."
Finn frowned. "Shut up, Santana." He didn't like remembering what a bitch Santana was about Rachel. "You love how I look about her.")
He doesn't need to offend her again. Which, yeah, if you don't need to injure her don't do it in the foremost place, but that's kind of useless now. He's trying to be a good boyfriend, so he guesses he can claim he wasn't her boyfriend then so levels of what he should and should not do to spite her were different then, but it seems like a shitty excuse.
("I don't need to be the guy who just drives around throwing eggs at people."
"That was you?")
Okay, yeah, it freaked him redress the fuck out when Santana showed up out of nowhere being all 'you say her or I will'. He never thought she gave a damn either way. But yeah, he knows if Santana is the one to tell Rachel about it all there will be sin to pay.
("If you were good and told people we did it last year you would go from uncool to chilly-willy in a heartbeat." She had no thought what she was very telling him.)
So, basically, Santana tells Rachel and Rachel freaks. He tells Rachel and Rachel freaks slightly less. It seems unfair somehow.
("This is so much better, because now neither of us have through it, and we can deliver it. For each other." It meant so often to her and why was he so goddamn fucking stupid?)
Maybe, it'd be okay. Maybe, she'd be cool with it - okay, not with the lying because that was douchey anyway, but she'd probably get over it and return it as signifying how he regretted it or whatever. And so things would be game to normal, and he could stop freaking panicking all the time. Because seriously, this is not safe for him and there's already one heart condition is his family.
("Oh god," Rachel muttered as Puck walked up to Santana, leaning into her and grumbling in her ear. Finn looked at her curiously. "Okay, I know it's truly not my home to judge, but - seriously, why is that boy physically incapable of holding it in his pants?" she explained.)
Really, all Finn wants is to hold his girlfriend. That sounds normal.
("It was no big deal," she said. Good for her. If it was no big deal, he cherished to spill, but it just felt like something massive on his breast and he lied before he realized why. Well, that was dumb.)
And okay, yeah, he wants to make sex with her. That's normal too, right?
("So, you guess it would have been that right with Berry?" Santana asks. He winces.)
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